December 17, 2024, 2:41 pm | Read time: 6 minutes

Every year, the Christmas season is anything but contemplative. On the contrary, in the hustle and bustle of buying presents, decorating the tree, and preparing meals, it’s hard to relax. That doesn’t have to be the case! A few tips can help to make Christmas stress-free this year.

1. Take Christmas off the Pedestal as ‘the festival of love’

Hardly any other celebration is associated with such high expectations as Christmas: The goose must be cooked to perfection, the atmosphere should be cheerful, and the festive table must be Instagram-worthy, of course. “The festival of love tolerates no conflicts. A perfect course of events is expected. Yet, the greater the insistence on harmony, the more pressure mounts on everyone involved. In the sense of a self-fulfilling prophecy, the more likely it is that conflicts will arise or that Christmas won’t be ‘perfect,'” says Julia Dreseler.

“Don’t put yourself under too much pressure. Reduce your expectations of yourself, your fellow human beings, and an ideal schedule. This can also include acknowledging that the claim to a ‘perfect world’ is perhaps unrealistic. No family is perfect. Life is colorful. Tensions are part of human interaction.”

2. Communicate Clearly in Advance to Celebrate a Stress-Free Christmas

Whether it’s organization, preferences, or gift wishes, disappointments or false expectations can often be easily avoided in advance if there is clear communication. “It also makes sense to discuss possible fears or wishes of individuals in advance.”

As the psychologist explains, tolerance, openness to new things, humor, and negotiating wishes are more in demand than ever this year.

3. Lower Your Expectations

It’s not just you but also the other people you want to celebrate Christmas with who are usually stressed, worried, or incredibly excited with anticipation. Where many emotions come together, the potential for conflict increases. Simply being aware of this can help you to have a relaxed, stress-free Christmas.

4. Invite Your ‘adult self’

When we celebrate with our original family, old role patterns are often reactivated. Even if we are adults, we lead our own lives, perhaps even have our own family: “In the circle of our original family, we easily fall back into the roles we had as children. One of us feels underappreciated or not taken seriously next to the older brother. Jealousy arises. The distribution of tasks can also be perceived as unfair, and former alliances can be reactivated. Vulnerabilities can be a ‘sore point’ from back then, which we still carry within us and which no longer necessarily have anything to do with the present.”

Here, it can be helpful to keep bringing your “adult self” into your imagination and to realize that times and roles have certainly changed.

5. Be Creative and Establish New Rituals

Every year again: the same meal, the cheesy Christmas sweater, and woe betide you if the guests don’t stick to the gift-giving procedure that has been rehearsed over the years. But let’s be honest: there’s bound to be at least one thing for each of us that we traditionally do at Christmas that we never do any other way, but which doesn’t really fulfill us and is perhaps even annoying.

Now, we have the chance to reshuffle the Christmas ritual cards. “We are challenged to think positively, to make the best of the situation, to be flexible, to rethink and, if possible, even to see the current situation as something that allows us to develop new rituals. We can’t change the situation, but we can change our attitude to it. Ultimately, the situation appeals to our creativity. Perhaps we will develop new rituals, some of which we might even want to keep in the future?”

6. See Potential Conflicts as an Opportunity

Conflicts are part of human interaction and can even create closeness – provided they are resolved properly. “Not demonizing conflicts can be a good strategy. They can also arise at Christmas. However, in order to have a relaxed, stress-free Christmas, it can be helpful to think in advance about which issues we might want to clarify with which family member and, if possible, to do this at a different time so that Christmas can be more relaxed for everyone involved,” explains the expert.

Focusing on the positive also plays a key role: “Despite everything that bothers us about the other person, what do we still appreciate about them and our family in general? How can I appreciate the individual more, say something positive to them, and accept them for who they are? Even if Christmas as ‘the festival of love’ should not put us under pressure, it can help us to remember that we like each other and help us to focus on the good and put disappointments and possible points of conflict into perspective. And, when it does come to arguments, remember that no family is perfect. Now, it can still be a goal to turn the conflict into a small argument instead of a major rift.”

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7. Consciously Enjoy Togetherness

In addition to the usual activities such as going to church, restaurants, or Christmas markets, you can also use the Christmas season for conversations and time for joint activities that can strengthen togetherness. Need some inspiration?

• Singing
• Making music
• Reading Christmas stories
• Going for walks together
• Playing board games
• Browsing through photo albums together
• A long phone call with family members who are not present
• Christmas video meeting with friends and relatives

A smaller gathering also allows for more personalized attention to each individual’s wishes. “Here, for example, a round of wishes in advance is conceivable, depending on the age of the children. Perhaps one would like to play a certain game, another would like to eat a certain meal, and a third would like to go for a walk?”

Last but not least, the attitude is particularly important for a relaxed, stress-free Christmas. It may be different from the usual, but it can still be enjoyable as we make the best of it.